insomniac with jetlag #2 - sleep?

I'm going to regret keeping these posts I think. So boring. It's been two weeks and three days. Still waking at 3 in the morning... maybe I always will. The night before, no sleep at all. The night before that? Five hours and twenty-three minutes. And before that, four. I could list the hours and minutes of sleep I've had every night since I got home, and I could chart the rest of my life on my receipt of hourly units of sleep - but that would be sad.

I'm beginning to lose that stiff upper lip, positive, silver-lining spotting approach to my state of sleeplessnes. It's been a long, long, long, long, long, long time since I was properly rested. And I'm not sure what's worse... not getting to sleep, or having it stolen from me. When I wake in the the night, at that second I wake up, sleep is gone, utterly and completely gone. Within a moment the deepest, longest, darkest slumber is ripped away, hauled in on some invisible pulley, by some invisible hand. And it leaves me exhausted, cheated and mournful, lying there in the dark with eyes wide open, wondering how it can be that I'm so catagorically awake. Not drowsy or groggy, no remnants of sleep to shake off or surrender to, just bright, goggle-eyed awakeness. Not bloomin fair!